(Beth and Tamara's Dorm)

T: sigh. (nothing happens. She moves closer to Beth.) SIGH (still nothing. Mara lets out a long belabored moan).
B: What's up, sighy?
T: I'm bored.
B: I'm sorry - I'd love to help you, but I have to do my homework.
T: You can put off your homework for a little while. Gerald, Mandy, Ramon and Julia are coming over, and we're going to have a rip-roarin' good time!
B: If Gerald, Mandy, Julia and Ramon are coming over, then why can't I work and you can entertain your friends?
T: (whines) COME ON, BETH.
B: Fine whatever, but only for a little while.
T: YAY.
(Gerald Enters)
G: Hey dudes! What up in da house?
T: GERALD.
G: Darling, if I had but a moment to describe the feelings I have inside. My stomach is churning and my head feels as if it's floating far above the clouds.
T: Hungry?
G: AND HOW.
T: Well when everybody gets here we'll get food.
G: I don't think I can wait that long!
(Julia enters)
J: HI GUYS! It's me, Julia.
G, B, T: (unison) hey Julia.
J: What's happening here?
T: Nothing much.
G: I'm starving!
J: Too bad I didn't bring my harmonica.
G: What does that have to do with anything?
J: Nothing, but I can play a MEAN version of "Home on the Range."
B: I didn't know you could play the harmonica, Julia.
J: Yup! Just call me… some famous guy… who plays the harmonica.
T: Yeah, I don't get it. Why are there no famous harmonica players?
J: Yeah. I don't like that. I feel that the harmonica players of our country should have a place where they feel loved and at home.
G: LET'S START A CLUB!!!!!
J, T, B: YEAH!!!
G: But what should we call it?
J, T: (unison) Hmmm….
(Ramon enters)
R: Hey dudes!
G: Ramon, what the hell are you wearing?
R: You don't like it?
G: It's a bright green unitard.
R: It's not a unitard - it's my uniform.
B: Where do you work, Disco Stu's Garage?
R: No. Everybody knows that Disco Stu doesn't advertise! For your information, I have accepted a position at the Los Angeles Public Library.
T: That's the uniform of the Los Angeles Library?
J: Dude!
R: I think it's hip.
G: It makes you look like a large booger.
R: Nobody asked you.
G: Well they should have. I don't like my tax dollars funding oversized snot balls.
R: You're an oversized snot ball.
G: Oh great come back.
R: You want to make something of it, Mr. Halloween?
G: Dude, orange and black is a perfectly acceptable color combination!
R: Yeah, if you're a pumpkin.
G: Well at least I don't look like a ripe pea pod.
R: PUMPKIN!
G: PEA POD!
T: Whoa, settle down guys.
(Mandy enters)
M: Hey guys, what's up?
T: Hey Mandy!!!
J: What do you have in your hand, Mandy?
M: A large purple triangle.
R: Yeah, we can see that. But what is the triangle for?
M: Oh, you know. Triangle-related problem solving. Say, for instance, you were thinking of a three-sided geometrical shape. And you couldn't for the life of you think of one. This triangle would remind you.
G: Uh… I see… I guess.
M: It also works for the color purple. Say, for instance, you didn't know what you got when you mixed red and blue paint. This would remind you.
R: Dude, Mandy, I hate to say it, but that's really weird.
M: Gee, I didn't know that people who dress like watermelons could pass judgment on what's weird.
R: IT'S FOR MY WORK!!!
M: Let me guess, you were cast as the avocado in the grammar school production of the four food groups.
R: Just shut up, all of you!
M: Tell me, do vegetables get paid more than, say, meat? Are your salaries based on how many servings people need of you a day?
R: SHUT UP!
G: Yeah, I hear your work has a real pyramid structure.
R: Okay, that's IT! (Ramon lunges for Gerald).
J: Cool it, all of you. I think we can all agree that Mandy's triangle is weird, and that Ramon looks like some form of fruit or vegetable.
G: Or snot.
R: THAT'S IT!
T: Okay, calm down. Ramon and Mandy, before you came in, we were talking about starting a club for harmonica players.
R: Oh, that's a GREAT idea. I have often found that I don't have a place to wail on my harmonica. In addition, when I talk harmonica to my friends, they just get a glossy look in their eyes. It would be nice to have a place to go to talk about harmonicas and harmonica-related activities, such as playing the harmonica and cleaning and storing harmonicas.
M: Indeed. Also, I find that there are so many good harmonica duets out there. But I can't find anyone that will play the harmonica with me. It would be great to finally be able to find somebody to play with.
T: Then it's settled. We'll start a club! What should we name it?
G: How about The Harmonicists of Amarica?
B: Harmonicists?
G: Well what DO you call people who play the harmonica?
R: Uh… harmonica players.
G: Hey - I didn't know that giant bottles of Mountain Dew could talk!
R: THAT'S IT! (he lunges for Gerald)
T: Settle down guys. I like harmonicists. It has a nice ring to it.
J: Harmonicists it is!
J, T, M, R, G, B: YEAH!
J: Okay, well now that we have a name, we need to have a symbol so that everyone knows who we are.
M: How about a large purple triangle?
J, T: YEAH!
J: Great. Let the first meeting of The Harmonicists of America Begin!
J, T, M, R, G, B: YAY!
G: By the way, Ramon, what's that you got in your hand?
R: It's a package of Ramon Noodles. I thought I'd bring them to Beth to help her remember my name.
G: Great, I'm STARVING!
R: Then let's eat!
J, T, M, R, G, B: YAY!

ACT II